


Forgotten Embers

by Cowoline



Series: Forgotten [3]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:01:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cowoline/pseuds/Cowoline
Summary: After some terrible events during "Forgotten" Solas travels back in time to make sure that Mona finds him in time.This is an AU in the universe "Forgotten" which is a MGIT story.
Relationships: Fen'Harel | Solas/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Forgotten [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1316600
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	Forgotten Embers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EmberLeo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmberLeo/gifts).



I walk through the Eluvian to my stronghold and I’m met by heavy rain soaking me almost the moment I step through it. It is not yet night, but the storm clouds above are so heavy they block out the sunlight. Most of my people have taken shelter inside, avoiding the raging of the elements.

“Welcome back. I have a report for you.”

He hands it to me and I thank him, but where I would normally have read it straight away, I continue on. I walk through the library in these old ruins that have become my stronghold and into my study and bedroom. I put the report on my desk - still haven’t read it - and walk towards the large windows. The dark room is lit by lightning striking not too far in the distance. It mingles beautifully with the natural magic now the veil is gone. It harmonizes with the natural world and creates wonders that have not been observed for centuries. Though I see the beauty, I no longer feel it. It is a reminder of a pair of unforgiving hazel eyes, and though I know she does not hate me, I also know that she hates herself.

I look at the chaos I have created through her eyes, and doubt I cannot afford makes it way into my mind. Is the world I’m trying to create worth all this destruction? It frightens me when my heart whispers “no”, while the rest of me thinks of my people. I damn the day I was foolish enough to let my agents give Corypheus my orb. A desperate act made by an impatient man in a hopeless situation. Had Mona only found me earlier, then perhaps all of this tragedy would have not come to pass. If only I could make this right!

My breathing stops as I remember the Herald’s account of Alexius’ experiments. He was able to create a rift through time as a result of the veil being weakened. Now that it is completely gone…

I walk out the door with hastened steps, and seek out Naya immediately. She is talking with some of the sentinels in the hall, but her eyes catch mine as soon as I approach. Before she can even speak I give her the orders.

“I need you to retrieve all the information and research about Magister Alexius’ experiments when he cooperated with Corypheus. Even better, find me the man and bring him here.”

With wide eyes she looks at me. “I doubt he would help us.”

“Tell him I will help him get his son back. That should offer some motivation.”

With quick steps, I walk towards the Eluvian, and, without any explanation to my followers, I vanish through it.

I make my way to the deepest chasms of the Deep Roads to where I discovered the origins of my heart. It is still fairly abandoned, and either there are no further Sha-Brytol or they know enough of me to keep away.

I walk up to the heart of the Titan. “Anaris, we need to talk.”

* * *

I fall over as I hit the ground. My hands feel the soft spring grass and the light travels beautifully through the branches as the birds can be heard chirping from above.

“‘Ey, you, flatear! You alright?”

I turn my head a Dalish hunter looking at me with a frown.

“What year is it?”

“What year? Have you lost your mind?”

I stand up and hold him by his shoulders catching my breath. “The year. Andrastian calendar. Please.”

“9:36 Dragon, I think. I’m not around humans much.”

“9:36… Then I’m not too late.” I feel my smile broadening. “ _Ma serannas, da’len._ ”

The hunter looks at me, confused, but I hardly notice. I turn to look at my companion, who still lies on the ground.

“What are you doing with a human?”

I don’t bother answering his question. “I don’t suppose you have a cart you can spare?”

“For a flatear and a shemlen? Not likely.”

“So be it.” I kneel down, when the hunter hands me a blanket.

“Here. Carrying your charge will be easier with this and some branches.”

I take it and thank him as I take the blanket.

* * *

_Three months later_

Walking through Val Royeaux, I hardly notice the sideways glances from the humans or the elves being oppressed. I walk with purpose towards the university hoping that I might find Philippe Dubois. Mona was in all corners of Thedas at this point in her life, but hopefully I can narrow my search by starting there.

It is a grand building of white marble and golden lions, filled to the brim with marble bookcases and extravagant furniture. Finding him in all of this is going to be a challenge.

“Which scholar are you assigned to?”

I look to an older man sitting at a desk looking at me with a narrow gaze. He has no doubt taken note of my ears and simple attire.

“I’m looking for Phillipe Dubois. Do you know where I might find him?”

He grunts with a thick Orlesian accent. “Figures he would stoop so low as to ask a rabbit for help. You’ll find him on the second floor. No doubt among the Dalish lore nonsense gathering dust along with his pointless research.”

“Thank you.” 

I walk up the stairs looking for him, when I see a familiar dog sleeping underneath a table. I smile to myself, but when I hear her voice I take a step back and look through the bookcase. Mona is standing on a ladder leaning against a bookcase browsing through a dusty old tome as Dubois walks in the other direction.

I look at her, and though I know it isn’t possible, she looks so much younger. Her body is less tense, her eyes filled with that playful mischief I adore, and her movements seem more free. There is still sadness in her, I know that, but she carries it like jewelry rather than a ball and chain. Where she always seemed tired and exhausted, she is nothing but quick movements and enthusiasm as she pushes her foot against the shelf and makes the wheels of the ladder move a little further down the large bookcase. This is before all that I did to her. She still wears black and white, but her auburn hair is kept in a loose braid. She is so--

“Can I help you?”

I spin around to see Dubois giving me a skeptical look.

“Oh, yes. I apologise. I’m looking for Mona Aim.”

He looks me up and down. “I see. You must have some artefact or knowledge of Dalish legend or perhaps the Avvar?”

“I have some knowledge in regards to the Dread Wolf.” I smile trying to hide my amusement, but he doesn’t seem to find anything amiss.

“Very well. She is right over here. Follow me.” He walks around the bookcase. “Monique, there is an elf here to see you.”

Her back remains towards me as she shakes her head.“You could just say ‘man’ or ‘woman’ you know.”

“Well, next time I will simply refer to them as ‘person’ or is that presumptuous as well?” He makes a dramatic bow and walks away making her chuckle as she turns.

“Snarky assh--” Mona stops as she sees me with her mouth agape, and I feel my smile widen. She takes a step down the ladder, but stumbles tripping down it managing only to grip with one hand. I hurry to her side.

“Careful.” I take her by her waist and help her down.

She looks at me for a moment then shakes her head stepping back and readjusting her clothes.

“What a clumsy clod I am. For a moment I mistook you for someone else.”

“Mona…” I speak her name softly and she looks up at me in shock. I hear a bark and a black and white mabari mix running towards us.

Instinctively I crouch down to greet her. To see a friend who died return is a gift unlike any I could ever imagine. “Atish’an! My friend! It’s so good to see you.”

Atish’an starts to back away and rushes behind Mona where she starts to growl. Of course she doesn’t recognise me. This is not the companion who stayed at my side for years - not yet.

“What is going on? Who are you?” Mona’s eyes are wide as she looks at me and the confusion on her face is a rather amusing sight. I wonder if I had a similar expression the first time I met her.

“It’s me, Solas.”

“Then I was right… but how? This makes no sense.”

I lower my voice as I take a step closer to her. She narrows her eyes and takes the opportunity to poke my chest a little hesitantly. Then again.

I chuckle. “What are you doing?”

“Seeing if you’re real.”

“I see. So what is the conclusion? Is this the fade? Am I a demon trying to deceive you or am I exactly what I seem?”

There is a mischievous look about her as she touches her chin as if she is pondering. “I haven’t decided yet.”

“That so. Do you come across many demons in a library?”

“Oh, you’d be surprised at the demonic tendencies some of the staff have.” She gives me a grin as I chuckle, but then she narrows her eyes even as her smile remains. “What is going on?”

“I am from your future. I used Alexius’ magic to travel back.”

“You did what?!” She looks around as people at the other end of the room hushes her. “Let’s go somewhere else to talk.”

“A wise precaution. Your apartment perhaps?”

“How do you… never mind. Let me just say goodbye to Philippe.”

As she walks towards him, she stops for a moment to look back at me, then shakes her head. Atishan sniffs my leg trying to decide what to make of me. I crouch down and stroke her behind her ear - her favourite spot.

“I know you don’t remember me, but I know you are one of the most loyal friends I ever had. And I know you protect your master no matter what. You’re a good and devoted companion, and I was lucky enough to know you.” I doubt she is able to make complete sense of what I am telling her, but she begins to grumble happily all the same.

I look up at Dubois and Mona, and then I remember. They are not yet engaged, but they are more than mere friends. When he kisses her hand my gut twists and turns, as I realise she is not my heart anymore… not yet.

Walking through Val Royeaux she doesn’t speak, but tries to remain calm. I admit, I find myself at a loss for words. There is so much I have to tell her, and so much more I _wish_ to tell her. But she doesn’t recollect the many nights she slept in my arms, or the numerous times I confessed my love. To her, I am but a stranger, in a sense. Walking into her apartment, we get some odd looks from the people on the street, but Mona doesn’t seem to notice.

As I close the door and turn, she looks at me with her arms crossed. Still, I find no anger in her lovely features, merely confusion. Everything is as when I saw it last. The drawings, schematics, artefact - the vault I know is hidden behind the back wall.

“So, what the hell happened?” Mona’s voice isn’t stern exactly, but there is a clear demand - and, in truth, she has every right to make it.

I fold my arms behind my back and walk to the window. If I face her while explaining it all I might lose my nerve.

“You appeared before me in the year 9:40 along with Fel’assan. Unfortunately, by the time you found me, Corypheus had already located the orb.” I hear her take a deep inhale, but I don’t turn. “You took command of the Inquisition to help the world, and I joined you. You shared all that you knew with me.” I look at her briefly to give her a rueful smile. “Well, almost everything... and though I was wary of you at first, I came to trust you.”

I look at her for a moment again, but she doesn’t speak. “Eventually you came to trust me as well. I know where you are from, and all that you lost when you appeared here. Together we discovered that you are in fact…”

I hesitate. I do not wish to hurt her.

“Whatever it is, I have to hear it. Even if it isn’t easy.” I feel her hand on my shoulder and her tender eyes look into mine. “Solas, please.”

“You died, back in your world. The titan named Anaris created you by mistake - using the lyrium to create a new body for you. And… you are immortal. _Ir abelas._ ”

Mona is visibly shaken as she sits down on her bed and Atish’an hurries to her side. She takes a trembled breath that turns into a laugh as she shakes her head. It is what she always does when she suppresses a pain to difficult for her to face. 

“I see… so what happened for you to be here now?”

“My orb was destroyed and I was left with only a few options to save my people. I destroyed the veil, but with your ingenuity, you saved so many people and their cities. But I was not immune to the destruction I caused, and losing your--” the word I long to speak is one I must conceal. “--trust. But with the veil destroyed, Alexius and I managed to send me back to this point in time. I hope together we can stop the younger me, and set everything right.”

She looks at me with a conflicted expression. “But your people...”

“If anyone can find a way to restore them in a less… drastic manner, it’s you.”

She clears her throat. “You’re making my blush.”

“Not to mention uncomfortable, but every praise is one you have earned.”

She touches her red cheeks with her hands to cool them and avoids my gaze - and she has absolutely no idea how the sight affects me.

“So, where do we start?”

“Kirkwall.”

Her eyes go wide as she looks at me. “Kirkwall?”

“As soon as convenient… please.”

She nods at me, then begins to pack her things. It is a task that keeps her occupied from the thoughts and distraught emotions I know my words have created.

_Kirkwall - two weeks later_

The journey takes two weeks, and I can feel Mona’s apprehension as we get closer to the city. Seeing the gallows as we approach on the ship, I realise that Varric did not exaggerate its appearance in any detail. On Mona’s insistence I have left my staff in Val Royeaux. She is worried for my well-being, and we both know what the Templars are becoming under Meredith’s rule. Even Cullen, who I have thought of as a reasonable man.

On our journey here, I have told her most of what has happened, and our adventures, but I have yet to broach the subject of our relationship, and she has not asked. Mostly we have talked about her world and her son. While she has not yet been burdened by my mistakes, this Mona is younger and the loss of him weighs more heavily on her mind as it is more recent.

The ship is in the process of docking and the slaves statues create large shadows in the wake of the evening light. Mona speaks in a low voice as we depart. “Now, this city isn’t pleasant, so please try to ignore it. I might have pull with Divine, but if Meredith--”

I take her by her shoulders and turn her towards me. “I will be careful. I promise. You needn’t worry for me so.”

She releases a small laugh that is but a huff of air. “Alright, I’ll try to control myself. It’s been a long journey, what do you say to some food and a good night's sleep?”

“And a chance to meet a younger Master Tethras? I do not see how I could possibly refuse.”

Mona laughs a little louder this time. “The sleaziest tavern in Kirkwall it is then.”

We walk through Kirkwall and for the first time we walk through a city unnoticed. I only knew her as the Inquisitor, where her presence was noticed everywhere - and in Val Royeaux the sight of a human and an elf walking side by side as if colleagues caught people's attention. Here people could care less. We walk into the Hanged Man - a truly filthy and foul smelling place that is only outdone by its patrons.

“So, what do you think?” Mona gives me a grin that makes me suspect she knows my feelings on the matter.

“Well, it certainly has atmosphere.”

She gives a short laugh, and for a moment her eyes sparkle with joy. After all that I have done, it seems like nothing short of a miracle that I can still be rewarded with such a sight.

I follow her through the tavern and up a flight of stairs, where I see Varric, Hawke and a number of their companions sitting around a table.

Varric stretches his arms. “Waffles! You’re just in time! I was just about to tell Anders about the time I cheated the Coterie and they ended up thanking me for it.”

Hawke jumps from his seat and wraps Mona up in a bearhug, lifting her off her feet. Even after Adamant, he never showed quite the same affection for her. It gives me a glimpse of what their relationship was before the Kirkwall Circle was annulled - and how much she truly lost that day. The next to hug her is Merrill, who seems just as fond to see her. 

An elf I have never seen before, with white hair and covered in lyrium vallaslin, empties his glass and walks right past us.

“You don’t need to leave on my account, Fenris,” Mona says turning after him.

“Yes, I do.” He finishes and walks out the door.

Mona gives a low annoyed growl rolling her eyes.

Hawke puts a hand on her shoulder. “Sorry, Mona. He still isn't over the fact that you’re friends with a magister.”

“One, Maevaris is a good person. Two, she helped me save his boney hide. Three, she was married to Varric’s cousin, so why is he angry at me and not Varric?”

A dark woman dressed in… very little, actually, wraps an arm around Mona’s shoulder. “He thinks you’re not to be trusted because you kept it quiet.”

Mona looks at her with narrowed eyes. “Where as you, dear Isabella, are a true example of honesty.”

“Hey, I came back!” She grins.

“So did I!” Mona retorts puffing up her chest.

“Yes, after six months, where none of us knew where you had gone off to.” I recognise the voice as Anders, who gets up from his seat with a small smile.

Mona walks over to him and he embraces her. It is hesitant at first, but he seems to have trouble letting go, when she is finally in his arms. I’m distracted when I feel a large arm wrapped around my shoulders and see Hawke staring down at me.

“So, Mona, who is this fellow?”

“I’m Solas.” I bow my head with a smile. His familiarity is odd, but this is not burdened, angry man I knew.

Mona smiles looking at me. “He is a friend.”

“Just a friend?” Isabella looks me up and down. “We better do something about that. Go sit down next to her.”

Isabella gently pushes me in Mona’s direction, while Mona gives her horrified look. “As if I needed relationship advice from you.”

“Who said anything about relationships? He looks like it’s been a while since he had some fun between the sheets as well.”

Mona crosses her arms. “And how would you know when the last time for me was?”

“Trust me, sweet thing, it’s easy to tell. I’d offer, but somehow I don’t think I’m your type.”

Mona groans and sits down. “I’m not drunk enough for this conversation.”

“Me neither. Here.” Anders hands her a drink.

For hours we talk, drink, and eat. Listening to their tales is wildly amusing and when Mona reaches the point of tears, I find my heart swelling. At the end of the night Mona is intoxicated, but not unable to control herself. It is enough for me to insist on taking her to her quarters, however, as this place is filled with suspect individuals. Standing outside her door, she looks up at me with a smile.

“You being here… coming back the way you did… it’s so surreal. You were so intent on saving your people. What changed?”

“Everything,” I murmur looking at her. “ _You_ changed everything.”

She takes a deep inhale and swallows. I lean forward to kiss her, but instead take the door handle and open the door. She looks down and rubs her face with a smile, as if she had made the wrong assumption.

“Of course. Goodnight, Solas.”

I walk to my room and sit down on the bed resting my face in my hands. I miss her, but I have no inkling on what will happen to me once my future is changed - or what impact it will have meeting my other self. I cannot do that to her. Not this time.

* * *

The next morning, I lay in bed looking out the window far above. The morning light shines through, making the dust glitter as it flows through the air. I have been awake for more than an hour, but I haven’t left the bed. I keep thinking of Mona and trying to remain focused on everything I must still do to give her her freedom. I’m lost in thought, when I hear voices from the room next to mine - Mona’s room.

I dress quickly and walk out to her door and knock. As I am asked to enter, I see Sebastian is the one she has been talking to. 

“This must be the friend Hawke mentioned. Sebastian Vale, a pleasure to meet you.”

I wish I could say the same. Everything I know of the man sends my blood raging - and reminds my shoulder of the uncomfortable impact from his arrow. Even so, I greet him politely.

“Will you think of what I’ve said?” He looks at Mona with a warm smile.

“If I am to make any requests of the Divine on your behalf, then you need to be dedicated, Sebastian.”

“I… I’m not certain what is the right choice.”

“We never do, what is important is that we make one. It might be the wrong one, but as long as we are willing to deal with the consequences and learn from them, then no one can ask more.” She offers him a kind smile.

“Somewhere my parents are lying in their graves spinning at those words.” He gives her grin.

Mona shakes her head rubbing her face. “Solas, do you mind going down and ordering some breakfast? I’ll be right there.”

“Certainly.” I smile and make my way down stairs.

I wait in the suspect tavern for another twenty minutes before I see Mona and Sebastian make their way down the stairs. Thankfully most of the patrons must still be sleeping at this hour as the place is mostly empty. Sebastian makes a friendly gesture at me before leaving.

“Does your shoulder hurt?” Mona looks at me with concern and I realise that I’m rubbing my shoulder.

“Ah, no. At our last meeting I’m afraid his arrow collided with my shoulder.”

She makes a grimace. “Uuuuh, ouch. Why did he shoot you?”

“We were protecting a friend.”

“Anders?”

“Yes.”

She takes a deep breath and sits down. I reach over and reheat her tea and she gives me a small smile before taking a sip. She pulls back with a look of surprise.

“You know my favourite tea?”

“Among other things.”

She smiles again shaking her head. “I hesitate to ask.”

And I hesitate to answer. She begins to eat quietly and I continue to read a book I was reading while waiting for her.

“So, why are we in Kirkwall?”

“All in good time, but first I would like to see Anders’ clinic. I have heard much of it over the years, and I know it is one of the reasons you admire him.”

“Alright, we’ll go right away.”

As soon as we are finished eating she leads my through the streets of Lowtown towards Dark town. The people here live in filth and are beyond mere poverty. Illness and starvation plague those who live here, and I can tell by how Mona keeps her head down how much it affects her. I know she wants to help, but even she is just one woman. I want to distract her from the guilt I know she must be feeling.

“If I may, do you have feelings for Anders?”

The words escape me before I can think better of them, and she gives me a look of surprise.

“He is my friend and care about him a lot, but I’m not in love with him. And he certainly isn’t with me.”

“Are you so certain?” I smile, but there is an ache in my heart, I can’t deny.

“He is in love with Hawke… which is sadly not reciprocated. Anders cares about me, but not in any romantic sense. Why? You’re not jealous are you?”

She teases me, but she is not aware of how close to the truth she is. I offer no reply merely a wry grin and she doesn’t pressure me for an answer - she so rarely does. Even now, when a part of me hopes desperately that she will. If she forces me to answer then I don’t need to keep my feelings for her concealed.

When we enter Anders’ clinic, it is filled with patients.

“There must have been an accident in the mines.” Mona walks with determined steps into the clinic and gives Anders a quick greeting before washing up. I walk over to the basin as well and fold up my sleeves before washing my hands.

“ _Ma serannas, lethallin,_ ” she murmurs.

“You needn’t thank me for a simple kindness.”

We help Anders most of the day healing the injured patients, and by the end of the day I feel even my strength failing a bit. Anders throws himself down in the chair, when the last patient has left.

“I can’t thank you two of you enough. I wouldn’t have had time to treat them all.”

“You don’t worry, I’ll give you the chance to return the favour some day,” Mona teases with a good natured smile.

“No doubt. So what brings you down here?”

Mona looks at me expectedly and I step forward folding my arms behind my back. At this gesture Mona sits up straight looking at my with a serious expression.

“We know you intend to make the Chantry explode.”

“Solas!” Mona hisses.

“You what?!” Anders jumps up from his chair and looks at me as if he intends to deny it, but I keep calm.

“I’m here to offer you an alternative.” I walk over to his desk and pull a book out of my satchel. “This is a book belonging to the Seekers. One of my spies managed to obtain for me. It contains the secret of the Rite of Tranquility and how to reverse it.”

“Let me see that!” Anders grabs it out of my hand and starts browsing through it. He is so eager he doesn’t even question that I mentioned having spies.

“They have always known how to reverse the rite. With this you can expose the corruption within the Chantry. I am certain Mona can communicate our findings to the Divine.”

“If this is true…” Anders holds a hand to his mouth unable to finish his sentence.

“Then you have everything you need to start a revolution and make a true argument for change - without resorting to terrorism.”

Mona looks at my with a soft expression, but I can see her mind working in those eyes of hers.

“Mona, can I trust this?” Anders walks over to her, his voice trembling ever so slightly. “This isn’t just some way to get me to expose myself?”

“No, you can trust Solas.” She offers him a smile that could melt even the hardest of hearts. “He is an apostate too… always has been. And a bit of a rebel as well.” She grins.

“I… ‘thank you’ hardly seems like enough.” Anders offers me his hand and I take it.

“Use it to free our fellow mages, and use it wisely. That will be thanks enough.”

“I need to talk to Hawke, if you’ll excuse me.” Anders rushes out of the clinic and I chuckle to myself.

When I turn, Mona is looking at me with her arms folded across her chest.

“Why did you do that?”

I take a deep breath, but manage a smile despite the turmoil inside me. “You didn’t stop Anders because of me. It is something that has always haunted you. I wanted to spare you every regret I could.”

“But Corypheus--”

I take a step towards her, but I don’t reach for her. “Is being tracked by my agents, and information is being leaked to Cassandra and Leliana - detailed information of his weaknesses. We will stop him from causing any harm.” 

She smiles. “We must have been good friends for you to care so much.”

“You were my only true confidant.”

She gives a short chuckle. “So, what now?”

“We stop Corypheus.”

* * *

_A month later_

The forest is basking in the glow from the sunset as we hike across the hilled landscape. It is quite beautiful and the sound of the wildlife makes the surroundings seem tranquil. I look back at Mona, who is resting against a tree taking deep breaths.

“You look unwell.” I take a step towards her.

“I’m… fine. Just… enjoying… the scenery.” She heaves for breath and looks at me with a smile.

“ _Vhe--_ Mona, if you’re exhausted we can rest. _”_

Her breathing stills as she looks at me with her eyes widened. “What did you call me?”

My heart stops as I look at her. There is no way I can deny it, but I am now keenly aware of the fact that she might not feel for me, what I do for her. I have years of history, where she has only known me a few short months. “I misspoke.”

“I noticed.” She takes a step towards me, and then she is so close I could not avoid her gaze if I wished to. “What were we to each other?”

Against my better judgement I reach for her cheek. “Do I truly need to explain?”

The smile she gives me is all the answer I need. My lips press against hers and she leans into my without any hesitation. I remember the first time I kissed her. How surprised and uncertain she had been at first - how vigorously she attempted to control her emotions in fear of them. This Mona is not yet haunted by the amount of heartache caused by losing Dubois, letting Anders blow up the Chantry, and Hawke blaming her for it. Not to mention, she still has hope that we might stop Corypheus. She has suffered, but not the same amount as when I first met her. 

She clears her throat as she pulls away. “So I take it we… ehm…”

“Were in love?” I smile and she blushes. “Yes.”

Still in my arms her expression becomes more puzzled. “Why did you come back?”

“You didn’t find me in time, and I know how that haunted you. I proceeded with my plan, but seeing what it did to you… I wished I had known you sooner.”

She clears her throat and her eyes flutter to keep the water in her eyes at bay. She then wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me down for another kiss.

* * *

When we arrive in the western part of Orlais forces of Templars, mages, Orlesian armies and Chelvalies have gathered. I am gratified that my agents, together with Mona’s regular reports to Divine Justinia, managed to convince them of the threat. Mona is not yet as powerful as when I first met her, but she has still managed to get the attention of the right people. We walk through the camp towards a large tent, where we are met by Leliana, Vivienne, Cassandra and an older woman named Wynne - who is accompanied by a golem.

“Stay here. Cassandra… well, things are not what they are going to be during the inquisition.” Mona gives me an apologetic look and I give her a reassuring smile. I sit outside the tent with Atish’an as I see nightfall being accompanied by a storm. When Mona comes out the tent, the soldiers have started to clear out and secure tents, equipment, and horses. The golem walks next to Mona, while Wynne walks ahead. It does not seem happy.

It scowls down at Mona. “It doesn’t seem to know how easily I could squish it.”

“Did I mention I know a man who raises pigeons? Getting my revenge would be easy, Shale.”

The crystals on the Golem flash, but Wynne steps between them.

“That’s quite enough. She wasn’t insulting your strength, Shale. As for you, you should probably keep your sarcasm in check.” Wynne gives her a stern gaze as she walks away.

“But I’m so talented at it!” Mona calls after her with a mischievous spark in her eyes.

“Well, at least I know you will become somewhat more diplomatic with age.”

“Hey, I can be diplomatic when I choose to.”

“Certainly.” I give her a grin and she chuckles. “So, what is the plan?”

“Well, it looks like Corypheus took your bait. He is heading this way looking for the fake orb. But you already know that, don’t you?”

“My agents inform me he should be here in a few days.”

“That’s good. The bad news is he is bringing an army. Mostly mages, and I’d guess they are Venatori and whatever wardens he has managed to corrupt on his way. He must have heard about the army forming here.”

I can see her shudder and I place a hand on her shoulder. “We were prepared for that eventuality. We will not fail.”

She gives me a wry grin. “Since when did you become an optimist?”

“I am hardly an optimist, but I have become more confident since meeting you.”

“Because that’s what you needed; confidence. Like you weren’t arrogant enough already.”

I scowl at her and she starts laughing as a gust of wind passes us and the rain starts pouring.

We hurry to the tent as the rain gets heavier. Most have returned to their tents to seek shelter. Inside the tent, Mona quickly dries Atish’an, who then hides herself under a blanket with only her nose sticking out. The combination of the heavy rain, strong wind and thunder makes it difficult to hear anything beyond the tent. 

“I guess I won’t be needing a blanket.” Mona chuckles then begins to removes her coat.

I see the water that travels from her hair wetting the white shirt, and the drops of water that slowly slither down her chest and beneath her clothes. I remember how it feels to touch her, the sighs she was to make if I traced that path with my tongue. It has been four years since she was last in my arms, but the memory is as strong as if it happened yesterday - and the longing as if it has been a century.

I force myself away from those thoughts, and focus on discarding my boots and coat. When I look at her again, she is staring out into the rain, but the enjoyment I know she usually takes from it is strangely absent. Instead she chews her lips, and her eyes seem vacant.

I feel myself frowning as I speak softly not to surprise her. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m a little afraid to tell you the truth.” She shakes her head. “Listening to what you have told me… I didn’t solve anything. I desperately hope that we will this time.”

I move closer and reach for her cheek. “We will. That I am here now is because of you. We have a chance to make it right, and thanks to you, I know have the strength and knowledge to deal with this.” I run a thumb down her cheek towards her lips. “And I have faith in your wisdom, intellect, and resourcefulness.”

She chuckles. “You mean, you have me to pull you out of the fire if you make a mistake.”

“If anyone can, it’s you, _vhenan_.”

I grin at her, but it fades as her expression gets more serious. She leans in and presses her damp lips against mine. My hand slides from her face down her neck and along her collarbone, and she gives a pleasant tremble. When her lips leave mine I pull her into a close embrace and remove the strands of wet hair from her neck. I kiss her neck, where I know it is the most sensitive, and she arches against me with a low moan. She straddles my lap and I feel her grip on my back tighten as I keep giving her deep kisses.

Her fingers move in front of me, and she pulls away slightly to give me a bruising kiss. Her nimble fingers quickly remove my belt and they travel underneath my tunic and up my chest. Her tongue brushes against mine, and I knot my fingers into her hair, while my other hand is placed on the small of her back. I find the lace at the back of her corset and pull, unfastening it in one movement. She pulls away with an amused expression as her corset falls to the ground.

“Show off.” 

“Well, you did give me plenty incentive to practice.”

She bites her lip then leans in against my ear. “I look forward to seeing just how well that practice paid off.”

The words by themselves are enough to make me shudder, but as her hand has travelled into my breeches, I let out an undignified moan. Such a small gesture should not have such an effect on me, but anticipation is growing into a burning need. I have missed her so these past years, and her being just within reach has offered a daily reminder of just how it feels to be loved by her.

Mona pulls the tent shut and then begins to pull at my clothes while I do the same at hers. There is an eagerness that bears resemblance to desperation. I chuckle as she lets out a growl pulling at my wet clothes as it offers resistance.

“Eager are we?”

“It’s been five years!” She growls playfully before kissing me again.

I flip her around on her back on the bedroll and being to pull off her trousers. I notice Atish’an is snoring and I chuckle as I remember how the dog used to react. I foot turns my head carefully and look down on Mona lying naked on her back with an amused expression on her face. I grab her ankle and kiss my way down the inside of her leg, up her stomach and chest before capturing her lips. Her arms wrap around me, pressing my body close to hers.

“ _Ar lath ma_ ,” I whisper as I rest my brow against hers. 

She looks at me and hesitates for a moment before she answers. “I love you, too.”

Her legs wrap around my waist and I pull the blanket up to cover us. I kiss her neck again and her sighs and moans create a symphony with the sound of rain, wind and thunder. Since she became a part of my life, she has been a force of nature. I cannot control her, and her mind and will shape the world around her. But when I work with her and accept that she has turned my heart into a raging storm, I find that the world becomes brighter and more hopeful. I hold her so close that when we truly make love, I can barely move, but it doesn’t matter. She is in my arms again and when the storm finally settles it will make way for a peaceful world.

Her back arches and she silences her cry against my lips. As I catch my own breath I don’t move. I simply rest above her - careful not to let my weight weigh down on her - as we exchange countless soft kisses and words of affection.

The alarm sounds and I sit up, as Atish’an jumps from underneath her blanket.

Mona rushes to put her clothes back on. “I thought your agents said he was days away?”

“Obviously I was misinformed.” I can’t keep the bitterness from my voice even as I, too, hurry to find my clothes.

As we exit the tent, the army is gathering, and people are already covered in mud from running through the storm.

“Figures Corypheus would choose now to attack. He probably created the bloody storm.” Mona looks around the camp her shrewd mind planning carefully.

“Or simply made it worse. I will deal with the dragon.” I hold her shoulder and make her look at me. “Don’t take any needless risks, and don’t make any heroic effort that will get yourself killed. I did not come this far to lose you.”

She grins at me. “You’re fu--”

“I’m _not_ fussing. I _know_ you. _Promise_ me you will be careful.”

“Solas, I can’t--”

“Promise me.” I take a step closer and her expression turns serious. “Please.”

“I promise.”

I pull her close for one last kiss. “I love you,” I murmur and run off before she gets a chance to respond.

I fade step as much as ability and mana will allow, and I reach the outskirts of the battlefield. I stay in the treeline as I observe. I must wait for the right moment to strike. Corypheus’ army is mostly Venatori since he hasn’t yet had the opportunity to recruit more followers. I look to the sky and await the first sight of his dragon. Thanks to the power of Mythal, I am much stronger now than I was during my time with the Inquisition. A shriek sunders the heavens, and a roaring fire splits the battlefield in half as the dragon dives down over the armies. In one attack it decimates an entire platoon. 

I pull on the fade, and magic gathers around me. I feel my limbs grow, and my mind change into a feral state. I turn my head towards the sky and howl so the ground trembles. It is enough to catch the attention of the dragon, which follows the sound, but can not make out my presence among the trees, even in this larger form. When it dives, I prowl in the shadows of the trees, and when it touches ground, I pounce. I grab its neck between my teeth and force the creature to the ground. There is a reason why the most feared in Dalish legend is a wolf and not a dragon. It tries to take off, but I manage to wrangle the creature to the ground. I am above the dragon as I feel its talons rip through my gut, and in effect I let go and howl in agony. When the dragon is about to rise I see a familiar sight behind it. A portal opens and the dragon withers as it is electrocuted. The blood flows from its wounds and mixes with the mud and water created from the storm. Mona looks at it, then at me.

“He is suffering. Give him peace. He has been through enough.”

I sink my teeth into its neck and twist it, giving it a quick death. I turn my head to the battlefield, where the Venatori beginning to flee. The army engages Coryheus, who makes one last attempt to win the battle.

“You better leave, before they decide the giant wolf is their next target.” Mona smiles at me, but I am loathe to leave her.

“Meet me at the inn in Crestwood. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

The last thing I see as I disappear into the forest is Corypheus falling to the ground. 

Almost three weeks pass before Mona finally walks through the doors of the inn at Crestwood. It take all the willpower I possess not to get up from my table and run to her. Thankfully, Mona has no such restraint, and as soon as she sees me, I’m greeted with a bright smile. She embraces me, regardless of who is looking.

“So…” she begins as she pulls away. “Where do you plan to take us now?”

“It is about time we wake my younger self.”

* * *

_A month later_

I have to admit I have dreaded this. I know my flaws all too well, and I hope that my younger self is wise enough to listen. But he has not yet adjusted to this world, and hasn’t yet gained an appreciation for its beauty. The fog is gathering in the old ruins that are still standing after century upon century. This is where I awoke weak, confused, and disillusioned.

“Are you alright?” Mona takes my hand to stop me and looks at me with loving concern.

“I admit, I am uncertain what comes next.”

“I'll spare you the details of what is roaming around my head then,” she quips with a grin.

“Actually, knowing your concerns might alleviate my own.”

“Hmm… doubtful, but as you wish. I was thinking about the laws of time travel. What does happen when you meet another version of yourself? Can Thedas handle two Solas’? Does the universe implode? Will it create another separate timeline?” All mirth from her face vanishes in an instant. “I don’t want to lose you. It’s silly, I know I haven’t truly known you for that long, but… if what you have told me is true..”

“It is.”

“Then I don’t want to lose that. I want what we had - what we are going to have?” She chuckles. “This past and present tense is a nightmare.”

I chuckle and pull her to me for a soft kiss. “I wish for that too, but we both know we will do our duty before we allow ourselves such happiness.”

She gives me another kiss. “How is it possible for me to both love and hate your devotion to your duty?”

“I could say the same about you.” I chuckle and kiss her brow. “Let us get this over with.”

We step into the ruin and I look at the place were I awoke years ago. On an altar in a forgotten part of Thedas.

* * *

I awake from my slumber - disoriented. I was not certain when I would awake, but even after eons of slumber this feels premature.

“Easy, it’s going to be alright. You’re among friends.”

My sight begins to adjust to the light and I see the human woman helping me to sit.

“Fel’assan…”

“He is taking care of another task. It’s difficult to explain, but he is loyal to you. Here.” Her voice is soft and gentle, and every move careful as if she is aware of my difficulty awakening. 

She puts a cup to my lips and I smell the potency of the tea.

“You could have--”

“Poisoned it? _Tel’harel, Solas._ _Ar melana dirthaveran. Revas vir Anaris_.”

I look at her and she seems amused by my surprise. And I can’t decide if the fact that she speaks elven is what surprises me most, or that she is familiar with the ancient greeting. She brings the cup to my lips and I drink the foul concoction. 

With a soft giggle she offers me a confection. “Here this should take away the taste and the sugar should help you too.”

My senses start to return and my muscles begins to pricks and shiver. She wraps a blanket around my shoulders.

“I’m Mona by the way.”

“I would introduce myself, but it seems you know who I am.”

“In a manner of speaking.” She reaches into her bag and pulls out a lyrium potion. “Here, this should help as well.”

“Thank you. Now, why are you here instead of Felassan, and who are you exactly?”

“It might be better to let my friend explain.” She smiles and nods in the direction behind me.

When I turn I nearly fall of the altar, where my followers placed me eons ago. I look at a man who looks exactly like me and I can’t help but wonder what trick this is.

“Before you start making assumptions, I’m from your future. A Tevinter Magister named Alexius created a way to distort time. After I managed to remove the veil I used that same magic to bring me back to your present.”

My blood grows cold. “Did I fail?”

“I achieved what I believed to be the goal, but I failed the people of this world - and by so doing I dishonoured our people and everything we stood for. You cannot proceed as I know you intend. By letting Corypheus locate the orb everything was nearly lost, and the orb was destroyed.”

“So, what do you suggest?”

“ _Vhenan_ , if you would?” He looks at her with such devotion and I am stunned by his words. Of all the possibilities and things that I had planned against, allowing myself to fall in love was not one of them. Mona must see my discomfort, because she takes a step back allowing me some room.

“Don’t remove the veil all at once. Find a way to do it slowly across a century or two. I know you are impatient and distraught, but do not give into that hopelessness. Let the people adjust, and find another way to deal with the Evanuris.”

I shake my head. “We have been planning this for centuries. The people must be restored. I have seen what I did to them during my slumber. Every minute I hesitate they suffer.”

“You need to listen to her. To us. If you continue as you have planned you will regret it.”

Mona pulls out a book from her backpack, places the bag on the ground and lays down browsing through the pages.

I look at her with my arms crossed. “What are you doing?”

“Oh, I’ve had arguments with myself before. They take ages. Continue.” She flicks her hand as an absent-minded gesture-

My counterpart gives a broad grin shaking my head in amusement, while all I feel is annoyance. She expects this argument to spin in endless circles before - if ever - coming to any sort of resolution. And by that act alone I know that is also the fatal flaw in my plans going forward - though I am loathe to admit it. 

“This is who you suggest I put my trust in?” I shake my head as I look at my counterpart.

“If you are wise enough to listen, you will find none so capable at advising you.”

“You should listen to you,” Mona quips. “He happens to be very bright.”

I look at him in disbelief as I begin to pace. “You say that you are me, but I do not recognize what I have become.”

“Believe me, I have seen what else we could become, and this is not the worst of it. We nearly lost everything to our hubris!”

I can’t believe what I am hearing. “ _Atish’ll Vir harel! Vhenan ma ghilana!_ ”

Mona gets to her feet and looks at me. Her eyes a raging, but there is no resemblance of fear. “As if I could ever make you do anything you did not wish to. I am not some woman who deceived and misled you. I am not Ghilan’nain!”

I look at her stunned as the words she speaks are as if they are pulled from my own heart.

“No, not yet.” I hear my own voice, but the words are not mine, and the older Solas falls to the ground.

“Solas!” She runs to his side and falls to her knees cradling him. “What have you done to yourself?”

He reaches up and strokes her face lovingly. “It took much of me to ease all the suffering I’ve caused you. Awakening myself before it was time took the last of my strength. Forgive me, _vhenan_.”

I approach them slowly as I watch the misery before me.

“There is nothing to forgive, and don’t talk like that.” She shows a strength worthy of admiration. “I will find a way to help you.”

He turns to me and grabs a hold of the front of my armour. “ _Tel_ _lathbora viran. Mala suledin nadas. Tel garas solasan. Ma ghilana ma vhenan._ ”

His spirit rises from his body and the last of his essence merges with mine. His body turns black in Mona’s arms and she gives me a bewildered look.

“Are you him?”

“I… not truly.”

She attempts to keep calm, but her tears start to flow as she holds his body close to hers. Her words are not clear to me, but those I hear speak of love and gratitude. I place a hand on her shoulder and she takes a deep breath before looking at me. There is a courage to the way she looks at me.

“Do you have any of his memories? I’m sorry… this is just really surreal. And I am heartbroken, but you are right here.”

“No apology is necessary. It is possible that I will retain some of his memories, but at the moment it all seems distorted.”

“I see.” She has a severe grasp on her emotions not letting any of them waver. “And what is your decision.”

I look at my other self, lying dead in her embrace and I see distorted memories. He risked his entire existence for this world and for her. “I will do as he warned. With his power added to mine I might be able to open the orb myself. And if you think the people of this world might adapt given time, then I am willing to offer them that chance.”

She looks at me with a smile and tears fall from her eyes. “Thank you. You have no idea what this means to me.”

I think of my people and the centuries of misery I have put them through. Because of my hubris they suffered a terrible fate - one she has managed to prevent for her people by changing my mind. “Oh, I think I have some idea.”

“So where do we go?”

“Skyhold. It is where I created the veil. It is the best place to begin the slow deterioration of the veil.”

She nods and with a strength that surprises me she manages to lift his body and place him on the altar where I awoke. She takes a tool from her bag and into the stone she carves: _“Halam'shivanas. Ma lath lasa ghilan dareth shiral. Ar lasa mala revas, ma vhenan.”_

Wordlessly she picks up her bag and walks out of the clearing, while I am left with the strange sensation of actually watching someone praying over my grave and mourning me. At least I did not die alone.

* * *

_Some weeks later_

The journey to Skyhold is a long one and Mona has seemed sick for most of the journey. She is often pale, chews a lot of licorice root, but refuses mint claiming she has heartburn. Which in turn means she drinks a lot of water. Though understandable, it is odd to know she mourns me even though I am right here. The dog, known as Atish’an, seems just as confused but shows me a lot of affection. I admit I am already fond of her and though the memories are fleeting, I am beginning to recall the dog being for me at a time where I was the loneliest I have ever felt.

When we near a stream not yet frozen to solid ice, Mona bends over and throws up behind a tree. Atish’an whines and I walk over to Mona.

“I’m fine,” she dismisses then spits to get the taste out.

“That obviously isn’t true.”

She takes a deep breath. “I’m not sick.”

I put a hand forward and begin to ease her discomfort. “No. You’re with child.”

She closes her eyes and murmurs. “I know.”

For whatever reason it is not until then I realise that the child might be mine. No. I can’t possibly be… Surely she must have had other lovers before my other half, but a voice in the back of dismisses the notion instantly. I take a breath uncertain what to say. “How long have you known?”

“I started to suspect about a month ago.” She walks over to the stream, and watches her reflection for a moment. “I wanted to tell him, but I thought it would be better once we had helped you so we could get some sort of stability.”

I rub my brow and mutter angrily to myself. “How could he let this happen?”

She stares at me with her piercing eyes. “Try to recall.”

As if by a spell it comes rushing back to me. How she felt in my - his arms. The feelings evoked by being with her. I remember the sudden rush after, when we needed to deal with Corypheus. Then conversations that seem far older. A dangerous dream that I was never able to let myself have, and now I see myself in a different light. I am no longer a man with merely a purpose, but one with hopes and dreams that I never thought possible. I look at Mona as she crouches down to the water and washes out her mouth. She is pregnant with my child, and despite the shock I feel myself smiling at the possibility that a dream I had never dared imagine might actually come true. And even as she spits into the water and looks incredibly pale, I find her the most beautiful creation I have ever seen.

“Yuck.” She dries her mouth. “I had forgotten this from last time.”

“Sam.” The name falls from my lips and she looks at me in surprise. “Your son’s name was Sam.”

She merely nods, but I see the pain in her eyes as she places a hand protectively on her stomach. I kneel in front of her and place a hand on her stomach as well sending some healing through her to settle nausea.

“I won’t abandon either of you.”

“I don’t expect you to--”

“I know. All the same, I will protect you both with all that I am.”

Atish’an barks and we both chuckle. “We both will,” I correct myself and Atish’an grumbles happily.

I get to my feet and give her a hand.

“Let us head south.”

“But that is in the opposite direction.” 

“I know, but I remembered something important that we must do first.”

She stands up and though I can see her curiosity she does not ask.

* * *

_Some days later_

I look around the cave and it is exactly like I left it. Hidden away and forgotten. The more time I spend in Mona’s company the more of my memory returns. Not all, mostly things related to her. If I will regain all of this now lost future, I do not know, but for the moment that is not so important. The morning light shimmers on the stone and Mona takes my hand. She is apprehensive, but I also know the morning sickness is taking its toll. 

I reach to stroke her cheek with the back of my hand and she leans into my touch with a smile.

“Solas!”

I hear a familiar voice and see Felassan. And now I remember why I left him here. Mona seems surprised to see him which means my other self did not inform her of this.

“Felassan, good to see you again.”

“Same to you. It’s been months. Where have you been?”

“That…” I look at Mona with a smile. “Is a long story.”

Felassan grins and shakes his head as if he is uncertain what to make of it. “I look forward to hearing it, but I suspect you want to see my charge?”

I nod and he holds out his hand pointing towards the cave.

Inside is filled with statues and ancient frescoes dedicated to Mythal and in the middle an altar with one small body. An orange spell engulfs him making him appear as an ember of a fire that might reawaken at any moment.

Mona gasps as she walks towards it. “Sam…”

I flicker my hand releasing the magic that has him slowly waking from uthenera. “He, that is to say, the other Solas, had him created the same way you were. It is why he was so weak when he awoke me. Most of his power went into returning him to you. He took your son’s spirit from the time of his death and reversed his memory back to his childhood. ”

She strokes his small cheek - his skin every bit as fair as his mother’s. “But I don’t age.”

“He will, until adulthood and then the energy of the lyrium will sustain him and keep him from aging.”

She spins around and grabs my vest pulling me into a deep kiss. I shouldn’t give in, but memories of a future I never experienced rushes through me, and for so long I have been dwelling in slumber without such affection--

She pulls away. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t h--”

I grab her waist and pull her back into my embrace deepening the kiss. I know that he loved her, so I am certain I am bound to the same fate. He told me to put my faith in her, and perhaps he didn’t intend for me to take this leap. But memories that are not my own keep resurfacing and suddenly the man I could become merges with the one I am. I now know why he could not turn his back on her and why I never will. I have not felt like this since Devotion, but this time it will be different.

“Mommy?”

I pull away and the boy sits up, stretching his small body before rubbing his blue eyes.

“Good morning sweetie. Did you sleep okay?”

“Mmmm…”

Mona picks him up and holds him close.

“Why are you crying, mommy?”

“I’m just happy. I love you so much.”

He gives her a peck, then hides his tired little face in the crook of her neck and Mona looks at me with tears flowing freely down her cheeks. “ _ Ma serannas, vhenan _ .”

“You’re welcome.”

Sam pulls away and looks at me. 

“This is my friend Solas. Can you say ‘hi’?”

The little boy murmurs the greeting and waves a little hesitantly. He then sees Atish’an and reaches for her. “Puppy!”

“Alright, but be gentle.”

She puts him down and he runs to Atish’an who lets him pet her. He sits down on the floor and she places her head in his lap grumbling happily. Mona giggles and I reach for her cheek to dry her eyes.

I keep my voice low. “What should we tell him?”

“He is still young, he probably won’t understand much about what is going on. Let’s just take it one day at a time and see what happens.” She wipes her tears and looks at me. “What will you do now?”

“Now that I have enough power to unlock the orb myself, I will do as you suggested. Letting the veil dissolve slowly so this world might adapt. Find a means to deal with the Evanuris in a century. Retreat to the parts of Thedas where humans have not settled and rebuild the world of the elves.” I look at her and place a hand on her stomach where another little ember is igniting with life. “Hopefully with you at my side.”

“Always.”

She wraps her arms around my waist and rests her head on my chest as we watch our son and dog play on the floor.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift to my friend EmberLeo.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it :)


End file.
